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The BDSM of Writing


I have heard several people say that a writer is a sadist. After all, proper story structure is simply that things must keep getting worse for the hero until the very, very end. So we authors need to keep writing worse and worse things to happen to him!

I beg to differ.

It’s relatively simple to come up with a series of troublesome events. She was betrayed by a man in her past. She meets a man who breaks through the walls she’s built. The man who hurt her returns, threatening her safety and sanity.
What is that? A backstory, inciting incident, and a hook walk into a bar… nice, but not storytelling.

No, a writer must feel their pain. We live it, alongside the characters. Every book, every scene, we feel their fears, suffer their defeats.

Clearly, writers are masochists.

She was betrayed by a man in her past, the boy who had been her best friend, who she trusted more than anything. How could he have betrayed her? Better that he didn’t. Better that she think that men only want sex from her, that any man would have forced her, given the chance. He didn’t really hurt her. She’s not really even hurt.

She meets a man who breaks through the walls she’s built. She’s only looking for a rough, anonymous hook up. After all, that’s all men are good for. Except he treats her gently, despite her protests. And even worse, he wants to see her again. He threatens everything she knows about men. If he is genuine, then all her walls come down. If she has to face what happened before, she would be a victim.

The man who hurt her returns, threatening her safety and sanity. Just seeing him is like the moment you hit your thumb with a hammer: it doesn’t hurt but you know that it will, SO MUCH, in just a second. She had it locked down tight, all that rotting, fetid, goddamned pain, but it just won’t stay contained. She can’t escape him, not without facing her worst fears, her deepest pain. 

It hurts to write about hurt, otherwise we’re not doing it right. And yet we sit down at our computers every day, knowing what will happen, and type away. Masochists.

Here’s the other thing. An author gets to begin the story. I came up with the premise, but as we build out our characters they take on a life of their own. We intended for the story to be one thing, but suddenly it’s another.

So who’s in charge here, the author or the characters?

Truth is, the author has the ultimate power. We are writing the words. We can always use our safeword and say, no, you have gone too far. Rein it back in. But then, sometimes when our characters push the limits – we like it J

That story I mentioned? That’s my book. It’s only the beginning though, the first couple of chapters. I thought them up and then the characters took off.

Giving It Up follows a woman’s journey through healing and … smoking hot sex. There’s romance, there’s suspense. And because we’re talking about BDSM, there’s even a bit of pain, but ultimately pleasure. I hope you’ll read it.
And if you do, or if you just want to talk writing or BDSM, feel free to chat me up on twitter here: @authoramberlin.

Amber Lin
Guest post by Amber Lin. Amber Lin loves to read angsty romance with plenty of sex, so it was no surprise that her debut book turned out to be erotic romance set against a dark urban landscape. She writes with one rule in mind: it has to get worse before it can get better. She lives with her husband, son and passel of puppy dogs in the great state of Texas.

 Website: http://authoramberlin.com/



Book Video link:  http://youtu.be/5NQ7NTuzFFI
THE AUTHOR WILL BE GIVING AWAY: 



· One randomly drawn winner from each blog will receive a Giving It Up Swag Pack, which includes romance trading cards, a signed cover flat, a signature soap bar for showers together hand crafted by AnaBanana Creations and a $10 Amazon gift card.
· One randomly drawn commenter on the tour will win an erotic romance prize pack, including paperback copies of Bared to You by Sylvia Day, Simply Carnal by Kate Pearce, Lessons in Letting Go by Cara McKenna (print combo of Willing Victim and Curio), Comfort Object by Annabel Joseph, a collection of signed Giving It Up swag AND a $50 Amazon Gift Card (BN.com or All Romance may be substituted)
· The blog host with the most comments will also receive the erotic romance prize pack detailed above.
So I encourage you to follow the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found here: http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2012/05/virtual-book-tour-giving-it-up-by-amber.html


14 comments:

  1. An interesting post. Certainly food for thought.

    marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Definitely food for thought. Now then, have you ever written a villain and later he/she became the hero/heroine of his/her own book? Or what about the hero/heroine in a book who later became the villain in another?

    kareninnc at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  3. @marybelle Thanks!

    @Karen Good question. The hero of Giving It Up is something of a bad boy already... maybe a bit of an anti-hero already. I think all of my heroes would have a dark and light side. I have definitely thought of writing a story about Jacob, who is most definitely a villain in Giving It Up. I probably won't, because if Giving It Up was a risky subject, that book would probably get burned (if it weren't an ebook, that is) but I think about :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Really interesting post...I'd never thought of writing as an act of masochism. (I did read once that all hockey players are masochists at heart, though...crazy.)

    vitajex(at)aol(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds like something i would really enjoy loved your commments

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the intriguing post. I believe it has to get worse before it can get better. This book sounds fantastic. Can't wait to read it to see more of Colin and Allie.

    e.balinski(at)att(dot)net

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great way to end the tour! I give authors a lot of credit. I can imagine that certain parts of stories can be emotionally draining. Especially, if I feel the character's emotions, I could only imagine how the author felt while writing it. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Amber! Good luck with your book! :)
    trb0917 at gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. I guess the saying no pain, no gain applies to a lot of things in life! And some of those things give such great results, we do them again and again!
    lfacchini(at)tampabay(dot)rr(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your post was amazing, Amber. Thank you for sharing.
    I've really enjoyed following you on your tour, and wish you all the success in the world!

    justforswag(AT)yahoo(DOT)com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very interesting post.

    bn100candg(at)hotmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  11. @vitajex That does not surprise me! Hockey players have it rough...

    @MomJane Thanks!

    @Joanne Yay :) Thanks for stopping by.

    @Tina B Thanks, hon! Yeah, I suppose I went out with a bang ;-)

    @Laurie Ooh, good one. You're so right.

    @Chelsea Aww, thanks!

    @bn100 Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this
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    ReplyDelete
  13. Sorry to be late to the party. Quite an intense and impressive read, congrats on the new release!

    ReplyDelete

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